Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
This can only be settled by a dance off.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
