respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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