She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
and she was petting her beer can
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
