I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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