i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
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I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
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It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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