i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I just gift wrapped bread.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He felt like a one man threesome
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
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