Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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