i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
