hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
