Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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