I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
