it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
