third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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