Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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