In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
