sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
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