he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
her facebook's as public as her vagina
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
