pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
