that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
