Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
