Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize