I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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