We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I think i got beer on your cat.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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