I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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