no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
