we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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