I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
