Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there were birth control emojis
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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