Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
