Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
