I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
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Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
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Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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