I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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