Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize