remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
