I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i barfeds in our rink
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
