Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize