Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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