Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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