Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
We're too hungover to prance.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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