So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
