If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
