i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
