There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
