I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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