If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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