I just threw up on my dentist
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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