There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
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