You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
