ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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