Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Randomize
