p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
