I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
