I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
