apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
