Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
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in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
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My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
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