so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
