There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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