it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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