it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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