i'm signing you up for texting rehab
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
